We survived the "squall" yesterday pretty much unscathed. We lost power, and had a small branch come down, but that was it. I took a picture of one of the candles with both cameras: my regular one (above) and my phone's camera, here. Quite a difference, huh? I'm not sure how long the power was out, because we left about an hour into it for John & SIL C's birthday dinner.

For the weekend, I'd pretty much like a do-over. Saturday was really rough, and was basically a wash. Note to self: you really have to eat breakfast,and within an hour of waking, miniumum. Not doing so will make you cranky and moody and unpleasant to be around. And when you do finally eat (about 5 hours after you get up), you'll feel somewhat better, but still be anxious and have a headache.

I did manage to get some matchboxes covered and bundled up. pedal_pushers  suggested I combine the twine I planned to use with buttons, and I think she was exactly right. Another picture (overhead) in my photostream, here.

While I worked on these, I watched some of Buffy, season 6, starting with Once More with Feeling (the musical, if you're not a fan). I still have "Walk through the Fire" stuck in my head.

Totally random observation: when you watched these episodes, did it bother you that of all the people that lived in that house, only Buffy had to go get a job? Willow and Tara lived there, rent-free, and never appeared to pony up for groceries or anything. (Yes, I know -- it's TV, and doesn't have to make sense.) My folks helped out quite a lot when I was in college, but I still had to get a job, even when living at home, even if it was part-time. Tara had been cut off from her family, so they weren't sending her $. Maybe Willow's mom gave her $ for living expenses, so why not contribute that to the bills?


Back to reality. Apologies for the terrible quality, but none of us brought a real camera to dinner. (Bad blogger!)

We've always celebrated birthays in pairs, by going out to dinner as a family, with the birthday people taking turns picking the restaurant. My dad & brother were both born in January, and my mom & I in August. Christie (a June baby) came along, and for years got her own dinner, then I married John - another June baby - and now they share.

This year's dinner didn't really turn out as expected. John wanted to go to a restaurant he liked, and we were all for it, but we picked a location that was very different from the one he'd been to. It was loud and almost impossible to hear anyone at the table, which was one of those stupid circular booths that no one over 21 should have to sit at. Most of us were pleased with the food, though, and the cake was excellent.

Of course, we brought the cake in with us. SIL C, who has a small cake (cookies, cupcakes, etc.) business, made John's cake. (I flaked on doing anything for her (last year I got pie), but she was fine with that -- she's seen enough cakes this week.) It's a one-layer round Rice Crispy treat (John's favorite snack). She made the Superman shield as well. No candles, no singing, just the way John likes it. (None of us like singing when it's done by restaurant staff.)

This is going to be a pattern for the next couple of days: wake up very tired, work, sort & price at dad's house, come home, collapse. We did learn some things yesterday, which have helped us price things.

1. The tool cabinet isn't really a Craftsman. It's all Craftsman parts, but was built by my dad. A lot of guys at the plants did this to get the configuration of things they want. As beat up as it is, it's probably worth around $50.
   
2. We found out what a lot (but not all) of the tools were and were able to label them. A guy that came to look at the tool chests last night told us a bunch, and then a friend of Dad's came over and did more. Earlier, SIL-C's father and grandfather met her there and gave her some suggestions, many of which were spot-on. A few were too low, and a couple were too high, but we had to start somewhere!

Dad's friend went in to look at some uniforms, and came out after fixing 3 of the things on the inspection list. Since he saved us at least $75 for just the stove (co-pay (?) for the warranty), we sneaked some acetylene torch parts into his truck (with his wife's help).

The thing is, my dad was a pack rat and he loved auctions, and was prone to buying "lots" of things without having any idea what he was getting. Up north, there is a pole barn 2½-3x the size of the garage, and it's full of stuff like this too. He also got to bring home all his tools from GM when he retired. So, there is a lot to go through. We've made $60 so far, lol, with friends and family coming by to help, who end up finding stuff they want.

One thing my SIL uncovered was a miracle (because I don't know how it survived). It was a memorial written up about my paternal grandmother who died when I was eleven. SIL is keeping that and all the other things she found together for me, until I'm ready to get them into an archival scrapbook. Soon, I'll get her to scan it for me so I can share it. Reading it brought me to tears -- this was the only person that accepted me, warts and all, for exactly who I was. My parents came close, but with grandma K, I really felt it.

Now, don't everyone fall over (if there is anyone who is still reading this)! It seems that pledging to post every day (back in November) kind of cursed my LJ! Not really -- it just coincided with "stuff." There is also the fact that I tend to cycle through obsessions. I got very heavily involved with Ravelry. Now, I'm still there, but trying to limit my daytime (worktime) online activities, which can also explain some of my absence.

I haven't had much to write about. My arm is slowly getting better, but it's sloooow. Maybe 5-10% better? So no crafting of any kind. I've been reading a lot. John knows I like Hellboy, so he got me some of the collected volumes for Valentine's Day. I've been re-reading old favorites, plus picking up unread books in well-liked series (like Nancy Atherton's Aunt Dimity series). With the writer's strike killing my TV-watching evening (not a huge loss, really), we watched older shows on DVD, and of course movies. In addition to the Hellboy collections, John got me season 1 of Arrested Development for V-day, and we watched it together (then went and bought seasons 2 & 3). Fun times!

My niece, K, turned 10 right after V-day this year. I love it when kids ask for books! The second I found out that she had tackled Nancy Drew, I knew I had to introduce her to Trixie Belden, and tracked down the first 3 books in that series. She was very excited: it turns out her school library had a couple, but she hadn't been able to check them out yet.

For V-day, K & nephew, J, got us a Love Frog/Toad Webkinz. It's a fun way for us to communicate. Of course, the messages are pre-written, but I think that's ideal for an online environment with so many kids. There is just no chance for anyone to make inappropriate advances. Mostly, we send each other presents. So I have to play the games to earn them money to feed my frog (Pink) and send presents to the kids. Have I mentioned how much I suck at many kinds of games? I just don't have the right kind of coordination. I've found some puzzle-based ones, kid versions of some Mahjong-style games I had, so I manage. On Saturday, I met each kid in the Tournament area and played some games with them, constantly calling via cell-phone to arrange meetings. Too bad my connection kept dumping.

I have dipped a toe into more grown-up video games, though. After completing all of the objectives for Viva Pinata, I kind of missed playing. I have pretty specific requirements, though, with no first-person being a major one (vertigo). I've been watching John play World of Warcraft (WoW), and figured I'd give it a try. He has been wanting to find something like this to do together, and it's been an adventure. I think I play too much, though, because I quest in my sleep, which doesn't make for the most restful nights. But everytime I pledge to give it a couple of days off, I think about how close I am to the next level, and end up playing again. I started on Feb 22d (practically the 23d, by the time I got all the patches installed), and last night hit level 18 with my Undead Priest (female). She's kind of adorable, with pale green skin, purple spiky hair, and what looks like facial piercings. I'm quite lucky that John's character is much higher level and a tailor/enchanter. I have large bags in every slot, and my smaller first bags in the bank while I figure out what to do with them.

John hasn't minded chilling his Undead Warlock (lvl 60) with me, which is a good thing, considering my skill at this kind of thing! (I can handle one opponent at a time.) If you don't play WoW, this probably will not make sense: my professions are alchemy and herbology, so I'll totally stop in the middle of a field during a quest to gather herbs. I've maxed in my wand (so far) and am a couple of points away from maxing my mace (prefer the wand). I killed some time when John was off doing something else by fishing, so I reached my fishing max 4 or 5 levels before I was allowed to learn any more. (I actually can't learn anything until level 20, but I'm ready, with the book (and some fish and a recipe for level 23).)

We aren't planning on joining any guilds or anything, just hanging out together. Who knew I'd enjoy this? But I am having quite a bit of fun!

My paternal grandmother always gave us a paper-themed gift. Usually (especially in my case) books, but art supplies, etc. as well. After she passed away, my mom regularly included a similar type of gift. This year, I decided to continue the family tradition with my brother's kids (in addition to a "funner" gift). Luckily, they are the type that enjoy reading. K, who is 9, got the Daring Book for Girls, plus a book light. She was spotted, wrapped up in the shawl I knit for her, flipping through the book. J, 5, has always loved books, and is now starting to read on his own, so I picked out a few reading-on-my-own (level 1) books, and gave him a book light as well. The style I bought for him needed 3 not-included AAA batteries, so I tossed them into his bag.

He pulled out the light and books, and set them aside, and dug into the bag to see if there was more. "Batteries! You got me batteries!" He was SO excited. (He loves power. He loves extension cords (and wanted to get one for everyone for Christmas). He also, apparantly, loves batteries.) Once he got the light working, he wanted to use it to illuminate the nativity scene, and moved it all over (not quite needing a book light, I guess).

You have to love a kid who would just LOVE a package of batteries for Christmas.

We spent most of today cleaning out my dad's garage, which had all the stuff that was already in the garage plus almost everything that was in the house that hadn't been taken by anyone in the family, donated, or tossed (we got 2 dumpsters). Now, we have a ton of stuff to sell, and some things to investigate and see if they're worth selling.  Just for fun, here's a partial list:

• Pepsi machine (full-size vending machine (cans))
• Exercise Bike
• Hospital Bed
• Electric scooter
• Arm "bike" (sits on a table and you turn the "pedals" with your arms)
• FOUR boxes of Avon collectible bottles
• A box of older Corning-ware
• Big box of loose 45s
• Big stack of Norman Rockwell collectible plates in boxes
• Poker gear: table cover board (folds into carry bag), chips, etc. all new
• DVDs: Season 1 of The Shield, Season 1 & 2 of Deadwood (2 is still sealed)
• A couple (qty uncertain) big, rolling tool cabinets. Beat up, but still worth something.

SIL took a truckload of stuff to the Salvation Army. We haven't even started looking at the sporting equipment: golf, hunting, fishing, skiing... And then there's the house and barn up north.

My team moved desks over the weekend. This is our temporary spot -- we'll move in a month to another, "permanent" location. In the meantime, I just have to look over my shoulder to see the lake. It doesn't suck! (Although it is further from every place I need to go...) I got spoiled by how quiet my old desk usually was, but some really loud folks moved over with us and are too close for comfort. Looks like I'll be breaking out the iPod more frequently. (The only problems at my old spot were the occasional folks who left their desks to make loud, personal calls on their cell phones, and paced right outside my cube (so they wouldn't disturb their coworkers.)

The happiness meter on the job has gone down a notch. Hey, it couldn't stay wonderful forever, right? I was brought on to do minor HTML coding and to be a liaison w/ the business team, plus eventually work with the new portal technology. Another team member was supposed to help with the more technical, higher-end coding that's outside of scope for me (not outside of what I'm willing to do, but outside of what I'm able to do), has gone on strike. My boss is going to have to intervene every time I have even a question. I spent most of Thursday crying, because I couldn't do what needed to get done, and couldn't get help, plus I'd been told I could go work at the hospital (at the time, bro was still not doing well at all). Otherwise, it's still a great job, and I like it most of the time.

Yesterday was a Monday, for sure. It started with me buying a book of stamps and then losing them on the long walk from the machine back to my desk. It could have been worse -- I'd thrown the stamps into my bag from buying breakfast, along with my ATM card and $60. So, if losing a book of stamps means I didn't lose my ATM card or money, then I'll take it. I just would rather have not lost anything.

Brother update: To answer some questions that have come up -- yes, they called in an infectious disease specialist. Probably not as many as came into the room, pretending to be on the case (so they could bill his insurance), and I'm not sure how good they were, but yes, they were called in. If it is indeed Legionnaires, then he most likely caught it at the motel we stayed at over Memorial Day weekend (in the hot tub). The incubation period is 2-14 days, and it was at about 13.5 days that he started getting ill. (I wasn't in the tub that long, and John has a wickedly strong immune system.) The test results take forever to come back, so they're treating him for Legionnaires, because if it's not, the treatment will still kick out whatever weird pneumonia he does have. All of the fever-reduction meds, etc., have given him an ulcer, so he's getting treatment for that, too.

He is probably going home tomorrow, without a confirmed diagnosis -- if the fever stays down, he goes home.

This has been another experience in amazement at how crappy this hospital is. This visit has been better than all of Dad's, but not great. Bro had to fight to get Tylenol or Motrin when his fever started going up, because the nurse was curious as to how high it would get w/o the meds. Apparently, they don't start really worrying or taking action until a temp reaches 105 degrees (F), because that's when it's dangerous. We're all wondering why they have to wait until someone goes into convulsions to do something. Plus bro's base normal temp is 97-something, and 98.6 is a fever for him. So 104 may as well have been 105. He had to fight to get them to give him his insulin the way he usually takes it. SIL started taking cards from visiting doctors, because they just come in out of curiosity, listen to his lungs, then leave, probably planning to bill his insurance. If I'm ever hospitalized, I told them, only the primary doc and people we've verified s/he's called in will be allowed in the room. I honestly hate teaching hospitals (for docs, not nurses).

Otherwise, I'm pretty good. I had to put a moratorium on Viva Pinata for a couple of days. One of the reason why I don't like them is because if I find one I'm capable of playing, and enjoying, I play WAY too much. When I start dreaming about it, it's time to stop for awhile. John got a Wii for his birthday, and I was quite surprised to find that I don't completely suck at bowling (like I do in real life). Not that my scores were excellent, but I did beat the video game master at the majority of games, including one I played while on the phone w/ Heather.

I signed up for too many swaps, but am managing to keep on top of them all by means of a spreadsheet/to-do list. I sort it by date, but have been working on some things out of order as inspiration strikes. Most are via Flickr groups: Five Things, Fat Quarter Swap, Fabric Addicts Anonymous & Coloriffic. A couple are through Swap-bot directly, and a few are via Flickr but use Swap-bot (with passwords) to make the work easier for the host. There are some pics in my Flickr album, but I'm out of time to do anything like get links. Maybe later?

A. We are not buying the property. Far too many things wrong that would cost us way more money to fix than we could afford.

B. My baby brother is in the hospital. They aren't sure why he has a 104°+ temp, although they have their suspicions. He's getting massive doses of serious antibiotics while they wait for the blood cultures to come back. He has ice packs in his armpits and groin, and behind his neck. Please pray for him. Oddly enough, this is only the second time he's been in the hospital (the first was when he was 11 or so), and I've never been admitted. He felt badly enough to WANT to go to the hospital, so it's serious.

I do these things... I put a gift together and send it out into the world, to someone who reads my blog, then bounce in my chair for several days because I can't post pictures until they get their package. I am, apparantly, a complete and total show-off. Sometimes, I can't resist and tell people what's coming, but so far, I've been pretty good. All celticsuncat knows is that another baby gift is on its way for baby Piper. Since I gave her a list of things I was capable of making right now, she can narrow it down to a point, but that's it. Oh, she also knows it's sushi-themed. But that's all. Really!

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My free LJ Moo Cards came yesterday, which means that J-dub's and Heather's should be arriving today or Monday. I love them! I picked a couple of odd pictures on purpose, silly ones so John & I could have pics of each other in our wallets. Mine is of me in the zombie get-up, knitting, and his is one he did for some forum, scowling and making a rude gesture.

I'm considering taking moocards up on their current free shipping offer for LJ users.

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Okey-dokie! I'm off to shower and then go to J's birthday party, to at least put the favor bags together. I'm not so sure I'll be outside with the water guns...

Have a great Saturday!

At some point during dinner last night, one of my family members said, "You're going to put this in your blog, aren't you?" (Or something to that effect.) That's far different from "Don't put this in your blog!" So...

We haven't been in any real rush to divvy up all of Dad's possessions, but the time has come to really consider it, since we're getting ready to list the house. Last night, we were discussing furniture and clothes (donating most of the clothes to Purple Heart, selling the dining room furniture, SIL is taking the dry sink, niece is taking the bedroom furniture, we're taking the living room furniture, plus my old bed, which dad took for his guest room, will go into storage for our guest room after we move).

Out of the blue, brother asks: "What do you want to do with his legs?... They're still in the trunk of my car." That struck me funny, and I couldn't stop giggling. (Dad was a double amputee, and I reckon we have 3 prosthetics, 2 of which are, indeed, in bro's car.)

We're still not sure what to do about those. We all agree that we want to donate them, but not to the VA (poorly-run bureaucratic cluster), so some research will need to be done. They can be refit, and were pretty expensive. (Not looking to resell, but we would like them to somehow get to people who can actually use them without them having to spend a lot of money - some small, local organization would be ideal.) There is a hospital bed with a new, real custom mattress and his electric scooter that we will sell. All of the other medical equipment will be donated. (His wheelchair isn't in great shape, but with a "tune-up" (new bearings and maybe leg rests), it would save someone a few hundred bucks.)

I sucked it up and offered my "hope chest" to my niece - if they have the room. There are several things that I don't necessarily want, but that I strongly feel they should stay in the family. This chest kind of falls into that area. It was my mom's, and was given to me, but I never got to use it. My mom left it at home when she married my dad, so my grandmother used it for years. When she died, mom gave it to me, verbally, but one of my cousins really wanted to use it, so it was loaned to her. By the time it made it all the way back here, I was in my 30's and didn't need it.

Oy, there is so much to go through! We will be having one big yard sale, or perhaps list it as an estate sale and let people go through the house. The big-screen TV? We don't really want to move it to the garage! Then there is the place up north. I tell you now, my dad was somewhat of a packrat, a trait he inherited from his mother, and which I got from them both. Going through all of that stuff should be interesting. Since we are very close to purchasing a couple of acres (south of Ann Arbor -- farm country, baby!), I have claimed the golf cart/truck thing and one of the riding lawnmowers... plus a box of ear plugs. A HUGE box of foam ear plugs! I have to sleep with them in my ears (light sleeper (sometimes), playing and fighting kitties, snoring husband), so why not?

The thing that's been very difficult in thinking about all of this is not holding on to every little thing that reminds me of my parents. The massive oak table that my mom refinished (which went bad and turned green)? The lime green china cabinet she bought at a yard sale (which someone has since painted white, using regular wall paint)? The hideous plastic faux mantle, also a garage sale find? Well, the latter two, I'm definitely keeping! I'll have a craft room/studio in the new house (eventually), and I can already see the china cabinet stuffed full of fabric.

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Also... J loved his party favor stuff! I delivered the bag last night, just in case something happens with me tomorrow. (Migraines are so unpredictable!) In addition to the six bags, I delivered extra patches so his folks could have matching shirts if they wanted, plus a completely different shirt for his sister (red shirt w/ a lady bug patch).

I think it's safe to share this, since I'm leaving to deliver it in 9 minutes. My SIL, C, whose birthday was Monday, will be getting this tote from me in a short time. (The fam is meeting up to celebrate C's birthday, as well as John's, which is next Tuesday.)

I'm getting better at this tote thing all the time! This one is practically square (meaning even)! And the interior pockets are pretty much level. And seriously -- I love this fabric!! As soon as I have some more $, I'll be heading back to the store to get some.

I'm a little pooped, but had to share some of the weekend. First off, Sheldon did very well in the car. (I'm so proud!) John was very worried about him, but I've seen this cat in action, and when he didn't start screaming immediately, and/or pee on my lap, I had a good feeling. I should mention that we followed the vet's advice and gave him half of the tranquilizer the night before, to see how he would react, and it made him a little hyper. So no drugs. If he freaked out, it was going to be a loooong ride!

The pic here is one from today. Sigh. I'd like to say that I just don't photograph well, but this is pretty much what I look like. I had to show it, though, so you could see how comfortable Shel was on the ride home. For the ride up, he was a little vocal - not yelling, just chatting. When we stopped for lunch, John and I got carryout and ate outside, taking turns walking Shel on his leash (he was just fascinated). Then, he settled down on the back seat where the kids sat, and they were thrilled to see that! They climbed in very carefully, and scritched his head. Most of the trip, though, was spent in my lap.

When we got to the cemetery, he wanted out again, so first the kids, then John, let him roam (while on the leash, of course). At some point, Shel just dropped to the ground and started rolling around in the dirt. Great. (He does this at home, but on cement.) We headed to the house, and of course he wanted out yet again. But we were a little worried about all the activity, so I put him his new carrier for awhile. There was a point where he and nephew J went exploring (with me & the camera close behind). That made for some cute pictures, and they both had some fun!

Finally, on to the motel. It's a small motel in Cadillac, a teensy bit dingy (and there was a weird smell right inside our doorway), but it was cheap and had an indoor pool and hot tub. John and Sheldon stayed behind to take a nap, and the rest of us went shopping. Well, it was a small town, and just 5 PM, so only Wal-Mart was open. Sigh. What the hey -- I had fun anyway! While we were gone, John set up Shel's litterbox (I bought one of those disposible ones), which was put to use several times (go Shel!). Sheldon adapted to the new room pretty quickly, but kept wanting "outside," not getting that there was just more "inside" outside of our room.

We picked up pizza, then headed back to the motel. After we all ate, most of us headed to the pool area (SIL napped in her room, and Shel stayed behind in ours). We might have stayed longer, but the arrival of a loud, stoned, stupid couple who were determined to have sex in the hot tub hurried us along. (No trouble with the stoned, but the loud, offensive and stupid part? Oh, and the stripping to the skin and sex in the hot tub? Ew. John described it as "Paris Hilton dates Pedro." I didn't get a look at his face, but I guess this guy was a ringer for the Pedro character in Napolean Dynomite -- down to the terrible moustache. The girl was blonde, with really bad tatoos (blurry), who announced that she didn't have a suit and would anyone mind if she swam in her bra? Then proceeded to discuss - quite loudly - with her boyfriend whether or not she should leave it on. I'll spare you the rest of the discussion.)

For some reason, the ride home went pretty quickly. Shel was much quieter, and slept a lot more. Once we got home, and were all inside, he wanted to go back out, to check out our yard and eat more grass.

Just a little while ago, the weirdest thing happened: I was upstairs in bed, with him at my feet. He climbed onto my hip, then walked over me, hopped onto my nightstand, then onto a chair, and into the window, where he settled down for another nap. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I don't think he could just navigate that path from memory, and I don't think he's done it since he got sick. There is a slim chance that some of his vision is returning. Oh, please!

See each picture for details.

Center: 1. Wild Strawberries,

row 1: 2. J on Swing, 3. Hi, Jek!, 4. Pretty Pendant,

row 2: 5. Body Parts Bubbles, 6. Sheldon,sleeping in my lap (again),

row 3: 7. Shel and I share a cone, 8. Shel, with K & J in back seat,

row 4: 9. Sheldon and J, out for a walk, 10. Sheldon and nephew, J, 11. Sheldon in carrier #1, 12. Sheldon in carrier #2, 13. Sheldon, sleeping on his daddy

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

This is for J-dub, who is begging me to return to blogging. (Okay, begging is putting it a bit strongly.) It was a 4-day weekend (love those, so early in a new job, with one of the days off paid, even).

Friday: Migraine. Really nothing else to add. I have an Rx from my doc for a steroid dose pack that should help with this little "run" of headaches. Unfortunately, while my new insurance kicked in on day 1, the cards haven't shown up yet. As soon as they do, I have some drugs to get.

Saturday: A truly odd day. I've been feeling a need to be around people, probably since that Sunday in Ann Arbor. One thing I wanted to do was have J-Dub and her husband over for dinner, to make up for all the meals we've been invited to, and just to spend time with them, but our house is just too small (and still too messy, although better). I got this bright idea to use my dad's house, invite fullfaun too, and watch a some cheesy horror or sci-fi pic on the huge TV. John made lasagna from scratch, I made brocolli slaw, Jen brought brownies, and we all made complete pigs of ourselves while we watched House of the Long Shadows and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (highly recommended for a group!).

It was nice to be with people again, but it's not an experiment I plan to repeat. While we were preparing for the evening, it struck me that, while I've spent several hours (all together) in Dad's house since he's been gone, I probably hadn't sat still for more than five minutes at a time. We'll entertain again, but in our own home. That means some serious cleaning up and rearranging, but it was too much work - emotionally - to keep from thinking about who was missing from the evening.

Speaking of emotional work, and the afore-mentioned drugs, my neurologist went a little insane with the script-writing. A couple of days before my job started, I had almost the most severe migraine ever. I woke up with a bad headache, and couldn't find the sample drugs the doc had given me to try first, so I went straight for the Lor-tab. Which worked... for a couple of hours. You're only supposed to take one of those w/in a 24-hour period, so I called the doctor. They wanted me to come in, and John was able to drive me. Because I take an anti-depressant, they always ask if I'm depressed. They do just seem to follow a script, because I mentioned that my father had just passed away, and the perky little note-taker asks if I'm depressed. "Not so much, but I am SAD." Then the doctor asks a couple of questions, decides I'm under a lot of stress (you think?) and proceeds to dope me into oblivion: he doubled my anti-depressant (not filling it), wanted me to take 3 Xanax a day (filling it, b/c they can come in handy), plus a slew of other drugs. I need to function, sir doctor. My grief counselor* concurred with my decisions. I can't remember her wording, but essentially, all of my stressors were situational, not long-term, and messing with a working dosage of anti-depressants doesn't make a lot of sense unless I'm not coping. She said if it had been several months and I was still not getting out of my pajamas, then it would be worth looking into.

Sunday: Easter, so of course I spent the morning cleaning up my Halloween Links site - checking links, fixing/removing/adding links. (I don't do church on Easter. Long story.) I got the time wrong for dinner at bro's, so we were half an hour early. Oops. Seriously yummy ham, family recipe mashed potatos, croissants (my contribution), and the company of loved ones. I brought the kids bags stuffed with goodies, plus Easter tree decorations for J (the holiday fiend) and a scarf kit for K (using cotton potholder loops). Later, the kids and I cuddled up with one of my favorite Halloween books: Halloween Crafts - Eerily Elegant Decor by Kasey Rogers.**

J had some serious demands about my '07 decorations, some suggested by the book, others pulled out of thin air. I don't know how he knew that we had a fog machine, since I bought it on sale after the holiday one year and put it in the basement, but he knew. And he insisted that we have fog this year. As well as a few projects from the book: "You should make that!" I'm forbidden to make one project... of course, the one I had actually planned on: the butler. We'll see. The kids agreed that I could make it if I kept it hidden.

Monday: John and I went on a little road trip to look at some property. We're pretty sure that we are going to move, possibly to the Belleville area (not written in stone yet). The first property was almost perfect. Pricey, but we could make a lower offer. 3.5 acres, butting up against state land. Besides the price, the only other real problem was that the lot next to it had been used as a dump for old tires for years. If we decide to make an offer, clearing up what is on the purchased land, plus testing the ground water would be conditions of the sale. The second piece would have a slightly easier commute (country, but not quite so removed), but no trees - old farmland. The lack of city water AND very high sulfer content in the ground water ruled that one out immediately. We will continue to look. #1 is still a favorite, but we can't plan on it, because it will still be some time before we can buy.

Then, we went to see Grindhouse. Not for everyone, but if you liked Kill Bill or some of Tarantino's other movies, you'd probably enjoy it. The idea is that you're going to a drive-in double feature, complete with trailers. So, for the price of one movie, you're really seeing two, plus what are essentially short films. It's funny how things work... I went b/c John wanted to go, really, expecting to probably like the first feature, a zombie flick titled "Planet Terror," written/directed by Rodriguez, and ended up not liking that one SO much (really gory), but LOVING the second feature, "Death Proof," written and directed by Tarantino. I don't want to give anything away, but I was laughing and yahoo-ing very inappropriately.

I was excited to hear that there is going to be a local (Detroit) movie show coming up in the next couple of months, a la Sir Graves Ghastly, Elvira, or one of the others with a character introducing the movies, and interacting with others. I've already volunteered to be involved. I would like to be dressed in any costume or makeup, knitting (since I really can't act). I'll keep you all posted, as I know more. I don't know that John or I will actually be involved (offering doesn't make it so), but I'll be watching!

Now, it's Tuesday, and I'm back at work. I got to come in a little later, to a site a little closer to home. Even though I got a little extra rest this weekend, it wasn't great rest (weird dreams, really restless), so an extra 30 minutes was very nice.

*SIL T, who has worked as a grief counselor.
**Kasey Rogers played Louise Tate on "Bewitched".

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. I really think I’m going to like it. For everyone who was worried, my drive time (at least to work) is just about the same. On my team, it appears that I live the closest, if you can believe it. From my desk, if I look over my left shoulder, I can see the sky out of the window (I’m on the 3d floor). When I drove onto the property yesterday, I noticed deer-crossing signs. Being near anything resembling nature is worth a few extra miles.

Since wardrobe was a big concern for me, let me say that all the clothes I bought a few weeks ago? Exactly perfect. I was half afraid that I’d get here and everyone would either be in suits all the time or in jeans (which wouldn’t suck, but I just bought all those clothes!). I fit right in. Whew! Yesterday, I was “chocolate mint.” I wore my first pair of brown slacks since college*, and a soft green wrap shirt with everything else (socks, shoes, cami) in brown. The shirt wasn’t really mint, because that would be pastel, which is against my religion, but I’m hard-pressed to come up with a name for the color right now. I wore a green & brown necklace that J-Dub made for me. This morning, I’ll be wearing black & white: black slacks with “micro-dashes” and a white wrap shirt over a black cami**, with black socks (matching even) and comfy shoes. I don’t ever wear white, but I loved this shirt so much that I made an exception.

Comfy shoes are a definite requirement, as I’ll be doing a lot of walking. For one, the parking lots are a bit of a haul. In bad weather, I’ll have to figure out where the shuttles are, but for now, I’ll take the exercise. I’ll be working with another team in a building across the way (more walking), and the cafeteria is a real haul, but through an underground tunnel (but once you get there, it’s on a lake, with a wall of windows). Yesterday, the elevator was out for the first half of the day, and I found out just how out of shape I really was.

The work itself is slow picking up, as first days usually are. I’m sure once we get my phone working, and me connected with everyone, and work transferred, I’ll be plenty busy. So far, the people are very nice, which is a plus. I have a picture of John on my cubicle wall and my favorite mug for now.

I do not recommend the grief diet. I haven’t had much of an appetite for over a week now. I think I’ve had 2 or 3 actual meals in the last 9 days, otherwise living on bagels, bananas, and a few bites of this or that. Just not hungry, or if I am, I eat a couple of bites, and am done. The cafeteria at work had a custom pasta bar yesterday, where you pick out your pasta, sauce, meat, etc., and they fix it right there for you. Oh, it sounded good, and I ordered up a plate. Then ate a few bites. At least I picked out all of the crab. That has to count for something.

Because John and I don’t have a church, or a lot of local friends, it wasn’t as if our fridge was overflowing with casseroles or whatever people bring at a time like this. Of course, for me, a lot of it would have gone to waste. But SIL T. and J-Dub came through. T brought a rather large tub to the funeral home, full of all kinds of things: individual juice drinks, crackers, chocolate, ibuprofen, applesauce, peanut butter, etc., etc. Since I kept forgetting to eat lunch, that tub was a life-saver. We took it on the road (for the up-north service) and there was plenty in there for the kids (and adults). J-Dub dropped off a similar basket at our house, with baby bananas and “beef snacks”, among other things. These two things I mention because they really helped us out, again. Once or twice, the tiny bananas were all I could imagine eating without being ill, and John loves those little meat stick things. He took them, along with cheese, crackers and pickles, over to my dad’s house (he’s been doing a lot of sorting and cleaning). People came through in so many helpful ways. Sometimes, just being there made a big difference.

Once again, I’d like to thank everyone for their prayers, well-wishes, thoughts, cards, hugs (real and virtual), and anything else I haven’t thought of. I'm very far behind in reading my Friend's page, but I hope to catch up this weekend.

*I worked in a Burger King for a while. We had to wear brown pants. I was never a fan before, but wearing those nasty things put me off the color for about 20 years. I see more brown clothes in my future.

**New wardrobe staple

I'm not sure how much energy I have for this, but I wanted to try and get something out there tonight. First off, thank you to all of you for the emails and comments offering prayers and messages of comfort, sympathy and support. The last several days have been a whirlwind of tears, stories, and laughs, as we both grieved the passing and celebrated the life of a truly exceptional man.

His obit and an online memorial has been started here. We'll be adding photos, etc. as the days go by. The funeral home put a little slide show/"video" together to play during the visitations, and I believe it's on the site now. We realized later that we forgot to put his actual job in the obit. He was at GM for 35 years or so. Ooops.

Everyone keeps asking, "what happened? I thought he was getting better." And our answer has been, "we thought so too." But his heart was just done. They took blood that morning (results later showed that his "numbers" continued to improve), and he was transferring into his wheelchair when he collapsed. As far as we can tell, he was gone that quickly, without any pain. They worked on him for quite awhile - against his wishes - but were not able to revive him, at the NH, in the ambulance, or at the ER. I'd seen him the afternoon before, and both bro and I had talked to him on the phone as well, and he'd been FINE, feisty even, so it was quite a shock.

This has been a very difficult time, because there was just no way that we were ready to let him go. But I think he was ready to go. Sure, he had his moments when he was in good spirits and making plans, but overall... he was tired. He dreaded dialysis, which was probably coming, and didn't want to endure any more amputations due to poor circulation. I don't think he quit - he was no quitter, my dad - but I think he might have been grateful to see whichever angel was sent to escort him to meet up with my mom. He knew his kids were settled down with good partners, with good values, etc. We'd miss him, terribly, but he'd prepared us well.

Lots of tears the last few days, for sure. But plenty of smiles and laughs as well, as dozens upon dozens of his friends converged upon the funeral home to say goodbye and share stories. We were in a bit of a daze, trying to plan a funeral just a couple hours after kissing his forehead and saying goodbye. We really weren't prepared - hadn't discussed the topic at all, except in passing - but we did pretty well. I remembered that he'd wanted a piper (don't all firemen?). He'd also wanted to be carried in 15 minutes late, but we decided that most folks wouldn't get it. We would have gone with the bouncer concept he'd mentioned years back, IF he'd left the list of people who weren't to be admitted. As it was, it was just lovely. The funeral director got the right people involved, as well as dad's ex-GF (have to give credit where it's due), and there was an honor guard during every visitation and the funeral: 2 firefighters, standing at attention at either end of the casket, changing every 10 or 15 minutes, etc.

Everyone had their ideas of how they wanted to honor Dad, and I don't think we turned anyone down. It might have looked a little chaotic, but he belonged to so many people. We'd managed to find his uniform and all the right badges and hats. When his fire dept. disbanded in '03, all the remaining members signed one of the hoses. He was the only member to make it all the way through - from beginning to end - and signed it that way, and they were able to coil the hose so his signature showed under the FD name, with the nozzle brass all polished up. His helmet and one of his awards sat along with the hose on the end of the casket. I have no idea where all the axes came from. One of the guys brought his own turnout gear and put it on display. I had two hours on Thursday to recreate a shadow box with one each of his badges from all the departments and ranks, and John made a yellow fire truck to illustrate a story that my dad loved to tell that involved my brother (as a toddler), a new paint job, and a permanent magic marker.

The funeral was yesterday morning. My brother's friend, Roger, officiated. It was good, because Dad wasn't a "churchy" guy, but he'd known Roger for more than 20 years, and used to golf with him. There's nothing like someone who's never met the deceased trying to talk about them, you know? They had fire trucks from a couple depts. parked out front, and a LARGE group of firefighters participate in an honor guard. My dad's old department folded the flag, and one of them presented it to me, barely keeping it together. I just grabbed his hands and held on for a minute, because hugging him would have made him lose it for sure. The piper may have been a little loud for inside (not his fault), but was perfect for outside.

Then, we drove about 190 miles northwest to where my dad grew up, and where my grandparents and my mom are buried. The Air Force was supposed to send an honor guard, but there was a mix-up with the travel plans and we were told they probably wouldn't make it. Well, those guys weren't going to let a silly thing like being given 4 hours to make a 6 hour drive stop them! They got there just a few minutes after we did! A few more relatives were there, plus some local friends of Dad's, and Roger shared a brief message and prayer. Then the gentlemen from the Air Force folded the flag. One excused himself, and played Taps. We were all quite surprised to see that he was actually playing - we had expected a recording. When he was done, the senior officer presented the flag to me again,* and said some nice things about Dad, and how he was obviously a loyal friend, with a unique sense of humor, and pointed out how the way the flag folded symbolized that he was now at peace. And then I lost it.

*I thought we'd worked it out that it was presented to me once, then my brother once (equality, you know).

It's been ages since I've had some "new" music (to me anyway) to listen to. Olivia, my little Nano, has been refreshed with a few new tunes, in my usual eclectic style: I finally got the MP3 from the "Free Hugs" video (Skinny Puppies, All the Same) and "Skinny" (Lo-Rider) (not work safe). I also was able to borrow Daughtry, which I really like, and will definitely buy. While I was at it, I ripped my Return to Me soundtrack. Later this week, que_sara_sara is going to get me some Scottish Rogues, so I'll be adding bagpipes to the mix. I'm sure it's not the most eclectic mix ever, but it's up there!

Lesse... what else? I've been doing pretty well. I danced in the shower yesterday. Just in a good mood. Unrelated to the dancing, but related to the shower: I tried Big shampoo from Lush, thanks to mercy mail from tvini, who sent enough for a few shampoos and for me to know that I'm going to have to get some of that stuff! Breakfast this AM with fullfaun (Anita) and lunch today with jennifred40. Anita and I just needed to our semi-regular catchup, and it was a blast! Jen is my old friend from summer camp that I talked about awhile ago. We haven't seen each other in years & years, but have been talking via email & LJ for awhile now. SO good to see each other in person!! We will definitely repeat.

Tomorrow I report to the neurologist at 3 PM and get electrodes glued to my scalp for a 24-hour EEG. Then it's home & bed for 24 hours. No phone, no talking, no real physical activity. Doing nothing is not possible, but I think I can manage keeping fairly still, reading, watching DVDs and maybe doing crossword puzzles.

Outfits for my first 2 days at work are all together and hanging in the closet. I meet the rep at 8:30 on Thursday.

I have gotten two calls from my old job, but have ignored them.

On the dad front. Yikes. The wing he's on is pretty nasty. I met with the director of nursing today and flat out told her that I was unimpressed. I told her that I had some experience as an aide and that nothing I'd seen had been comforting or reassuring. She told me that she had sufficient staff, and I said, "again, nothing I've seen here convinces me of that." (Oh, yeah, let's not forget the staff insisting that their numbers have been slashed.)

My old Dad made an appearance today. The Director of Nursing got my letter, and went to visit Dad. He let her have it. He told her that he wanted back in his old wing or he was going home. And he seriously meant it. They hope to move him tomorrow. I pushed him around for a bit and he wanted to visit his old wing. Two different staff stopped us and asked if he was coming back.

I got a call while I was at lunch today, from Dad's ex-GF, who'd dropped in at 12:30, and found him soaked (in sweat, I think). She could NOT get anyone to come to the room to change him and the bed, OR help. She finally did it herself, and then couldn't get anyone to bring her a fitted sheet. Turns out they were out of them, but could they SAY that? No. They just disappeared. THREE HOURS later, while I was there, a staff member showed up with a fitted sheet.

Yesterday, it took him an hour to get a bed pan. They ignore the lights, and of course ignore the shouts (all the old folks shout).

We had a little talk, he and I, about how when I said that I couldn't be the only one he called, that didn't mean he couldn't ever call me. It just meant that he needed to work other family members into the mix. That's all. Call SOMEONE, for sure.

Dad has been "safely" transferred to the same old nursing home. John and I arrived soon after him, lunch in hand, and got to see the (certified) nurse's aid repeatedly try to take his BP with a wrist cuff*, over his ID bracelet. She tried to get it out of the way, but never succeeded; meanwhile, his other wrist was bare.

A memo to the nursing director has been written. John said, "I thought you weren't doing this anymore." But I did witness it, first-hand. And while I'm pretty pissed, I made sure to report the incident to my brother,** and writing the memo keeps me from getting too riled up (and lets me keep a copy for my files). Here's an excerpt:

We watched her attempt - at least three times - to take my father's blood pressure, using a wrist cuff, over his ID bracelet. She finally asked him what his BP was the last time it was taken. He told her that it was - I believe - 130/60*. She put the cuff part of the way back on his wrist (she did not close it or turn it on), and asked him if 131/60 sounded right, because that was the reading she'd just gotten - it had just popped up on the display.

*Whatever the documented BP was, it was was 1 digit over the one he reported as his last BP reading, retrieved without even completely wrapping the cuff around his wrist. (Next time I'll take better notes.)

This is not an auspicious beginning to what we're viewing as a second chance for D_____ (after Dad contracted the Klebsiella bacteria and was transferred to ______________ Hospital two weeks ago this morning). I hope to see some significant improvements in the immediate future.

What's helpful is that I've been very well trained in documenting almost anything without emotion. This was only an excerpt, but I promise that there was no emotion (except a hint at disappointment), just facts. By pointing out that I'm putting all communication in writing, and keeping a copy, I hope that they'll take it pretty seriously. Having a board of health inspector show up next week (I hope) should also help.

I think SIL C & I are going to visit some other homes on Tuesday and take some pics to show Dad. His ex-GF has him convinced that all the homes have, get this, old people in them,*** as well as elderly staff. Of course, he always takes her word/advice over ours, so here we are, picking up their combined mess (I hate her, but he's still making his own decisions). I found it ironic that the first person that took care of him (the aide) was at least sixty.

*I guess if they're high quality, and used right, they can deliver reliable results. Obviously, not when they're used over an ID bracelet. Plus, I think they bought this one at a drug store. It looked flimsy.

**He visited later, and agreed that the wing/hall that Dad is in now is much worse than the previous time, and said that he witnessed some serious 'tude from the staff, directed at Dad's roommate.

***Hello? Nursing Homes? Seriously, I could shake him this time.

I was just informed that my MOTHER was present in my father's room when he was taken to the hospital at 3:30 this morning, and that she had his wallet and cell phone. Really?

Finding Dad's personal effects has been quite interesting. My brother drove over there this evening to pick up at least the wallet and cell, and no one could locate his things. So he called me to have me get in touch with Dad's ex*, to see if she came by today. Seriously, it's something she'd do - just for safekeeping - but this morning was her grandfather's funeral, so I doubted the possibility. But we had to be sure before we stepped up the "investigation." She doesnt' have it.

My turn to get involved. While bro was on his way to the NH, someone called here and left a voicemail - except that the phone didn't ring**. Since bro was going there, I didn't bother to listen to the message, figuring they'd just called him next, but when he arrived and no one knew where the things were, we went back and listened. It was just a message asking for us to call xxx. So I called and got a real smart-ass nurse on the line. "Well, I didn't call." Well, I don't CARE who called. SOMEONE called. Where's his stuff? I want to talk to a supervisor.

The return phone call was from the same smart-ass nurse: "Your mother was here when your dad was taken to the hospital. So she has his things." "Oh, really? You are so full of shit! My mother's been DEAD for nine years. And I don't think he had visitors at 3 AM. Figure this out, get your supervisor back on the line and find his wallet. Or I'm calling the police." And that's pretty much verbatim.

Five minutes later: "We have his things. They were right here all along." Is his wallet there? "I don't know."

Finally, yes. Wallet and cell phone recovered. Mother not visiting from beyond. They claim to have confused him with another patient. Because I called them f-ing incompetents over the phone, brother is calling to ask them to lock up Dad's things - where they were supposed to be from the beginning - until he can get there.

His fever is down, although he's still pretty lethargic. Big surprise after a fever spike like that.

Supposedly, this NH that Dad's been in is the second best in the county (the best was full up). This concerns me. Worse now that he wants to pay them to hold his bed so he can go back. Sigh. He is a grown-up, and able to make his own decisions. But I wish he's listen to me. Occasionally. Maybe I can get his ex-girlfriend to tell him he needs to go. Maybe he'd listen to her.

*they're buds now
**VOIP, so John got a notice on his computer that we had vmx

Dad's in the hospital. At around 3:30 - 3:50 AM, we got calls: brother got one story, I got another. Dad's heart rate was up (did they treat it w/ the nitro pills? doubt it) is what bro was told. I was told that he had a "mental status change" and, oh, his heart rate is up. He is seriously never shaking the confusion rap that those nurses used to cover their butts the last time he was in the hospital, because who isn't confused at 3:00 in the morning when their temperature is 104°? (did they take his temperature? doubt it)

So even if the staff at the nursing home are borderline imcompetent, a 104° temperature is significant enough to send him to the hospital (even if by accident).

I'd been ill all evening and most of the night, and had been asleep for roughly 2 hours when the call came that Dad had been taken to a hospital (close to the NH) that is affectionately known amongst emergency workers (e.g. ambulance and fire) as "Death Valley" and a place my dad never wanted to be taken. Too late - he was already on his way when they called. When he got to the hospital, his heart rate was fine, but he was out of it (just couldn't keep his eyes open) and he was bathed in sweat. So they took his temp.

We tried to get him tranferred to the other incompetent hospital that at least has his medical records, where his doctors have privileges, but no go: beds were full. At least the ER was basically empty, and they were able to concentrate on him. He'd already had one type of IV antibiotic and they were about to start a second type (anything to get his fever down).

I got kind of dizzy, so brother waited at the hospital and John took me home. I think I've slept for about 3 or 4 hours this time and now have a splitting headache.

However, I just talked to Dad's nurse, and he's still kind of out of it. But his temp is down and he had requested grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup. They don't know why all this happened, but I pray they're competent enough to figure out what it is.

The upside: if he's not back at the NH by 3 AM tomorrow, he loses his bed. Because they scare me.

First off, Happy Birthday to my niece, K. She's nine! I can't believe that it was nine years ago that we were all waiting for her to make her appearance. I got to change her first diaper, something I'm sure she loves hearing about. We're gathering tomorrow to celebrate, and then her slumber party is next Friday, where we're going to make mini pizzas, the girls will decorate their own mini cakes, we'll polish toenails and (maybe) decorate flip-flops. And there will be knitting, and probably some other crafts before I head home.

Well. I finally got home last night, and you should have seen me trying to carry my knitting tote, dinner (carryout) and my packages upstairs in one trip! I tore into them immediately! The first was a Priority Mailer, not a box. I can't show yet, because it's from a swap and not everyone has their package yet. It wasn't the robot swap stuff, but my share of the 5 Things Valentine swap. Pics will be available later. If you want to see what I sent, it's over here.

I couldn't wait one more second to rip into the second package (the only box). It was from whittlnwithbear, and it was just amazing. She said on her LJ the other day that she was mailing out some care packages. I had no idea that one of those would be for me, and what a caring package! I tried to get everything in the photo (click to make bigger). I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I will say I'm glad John doesn't like shortbread, because then there is a whole tin of homemade shortbread for ME to eat. All by myself. A bag of soup mix, called "Love Soup," that John is making for dinner tonight. Ribbon - lots of ribbon. An emery board with pictures of yarn on it. Fabric, yarn (green mohair blend laceweight), Oh! TONS of tea. A Frankenstein's Monster bag, with 3 funky-colored (my colors) dishtowels (there's never a wrong time to give me Halloween presents). A Peter Rabbit book. Did I mention the tin of shortbread? A handknit washcloth. I adore the little jar stuffed to the brim with all kinds of things: tea, candy, more ribbon, lime green tassel trim! It was like Christmas, only better, because it was totally unexpected and given from the heart. Thanks, again Cate.

ETA: Cate says she was inspired by the jar I linked to in this post. I think it's fabulous and totally plan on copying the idea.

I've finished the knitting project leaflet for K's party. I ended up making a few extra, so if you want a copy, let me know. If we don't typically correspond, then a postage stamp would be helpful. Bear in mind that these are projects for young girls who are new knitters, so they're very simple: a bow, a headband and a bracelet. I really like how it turned out: full color, with pics of the samples I knitted right next to the directions. Plus, I found a couple cute images of young girls knitting. There are directions on the back, but they're more for the parents. I don't really recommend the book I got the ideas from because the cast-on directions are (in my opinion) too complex (cable cast on? I don't even know how to do that.). Melanie Falicks' Kid's Knitting is better, if anyone is looking for a good resource. It has the "thumb" cast-on, which isn't the neatest, but seems to be the easiest to learn. (I put a note on the back of the leaflet, recommending this book, and bought it for my niece when she was learning to knit).

Regarding the leaflet, I bought the book the patterns were in, and will be giving it to my niece. I test-knit all of the projects and modified one or two of the patterns slightly, but they're not mine. I've credited the book in the leaflet, even giving the ISBN number. I couldn't photocopy the projects, because the layout was pretty terrible on one or two.

When we get together tomorrow for K's birthday, her mom will give me the knitting needles (and whatever else she picked up for the project), so I can assemble the packages. I think they're turning out really cute, so will definitely be sharing pictures! I'm going to make ribbons sheaths for the needles, and tie them to the handles of the carryout containers. Everything else - including the folded-up leaflet - will fit inside with the top closed.

Well, it's finally Friday in this part of the world (already Saturday in other parts). I'm putting the word out: tomorrow, I may have lots to do, but I will be sleeping until I wake up in the AM. No phones, anywhere near by, no alarm clock, etc. I'm tired, and I need the rest. Of course, the "'til I wake up" will probably mean 8 or 8:30, but it's needed. After that, I have sewing to do, some birthday present-gathering, etc., and a visit to Dad. But first things first. Ah, sleep.